Sundaze: detours

the journey we made, the journey ahead

Nobody tells you when they are failing. But every success story usually highlights all the detours it took to get there. For the things that don’t go as planned, perhaps it helps to find both comfort and discomfort in the journey.

Go write a poem. Paint a painting.

Draw a squiggly line.

Sing offkey. Plant a garden.

Let the moths have it.

Fly a seaplane. Swim a lap.

Swim another lap. Joke’s on me

because I don’t know how to swim.

Be as bitter as it takes. Be kind.

Be selfless, and be selfish.

Be human. Be flawed.

But care. When we stop giving a rat’s ass,

you know that’s bad.

This weekend, for mother’s day, I asked my mum what she wanted. She told me her and my stepdad were both working the same shift on Saturday and needed me to watch my 8 y/o sister who she was bringing to work. She didn’t want anything for mother’s day - just someone to cover the logistics. So we made a day out of it, I’m writing this as my baby sister runs around the 7th floor Toys R Us.

I started coming to work with my mom since I turned 11. She’d work the register while I roamed around the departments, trying on dresses, taking pictures on my sony camera. It was the age of MSN so I’d take my mom’s phone on her breaks. Sometimes her friends would take me out to lunch. I knew everything about their lives, who they were dating, which boss they hated. My mom’s friends were my friends.

In fact, when I think about detours, I think often about my mum and her friends. I remember visiting her in the summers and we’d share someone’s living room with three other stranger women. They’d each pay $500 for rent. For context, that is little in new york. Now my mom owns a home in Queens. As do most of them.

I asked my little sister what we should get ma for mother’s day. Candy. Of course. We rummaged through It’s Sugar and made a little bag. There, a little girl, probably my sister’s age, was helping her mum close shop for the night. Wiping down the shelves, telling my sister which candy was her favorite. We shared some of the candy with her before we left. Something about it brought me back to the essence of this city. So many mums that have to bring their kids to their work because they can’t afford nannies. It gave me extra appreciation for the detours.

Think about the things that didn’t go as planned. Can we celebrate the detours that make the journey what it is?

On May 28th, Lakshmi and I are hosting a Fail-A-Bration party at the beautiful Drawing Room in NYC. The concept was first introduced by Brad and Kristi Montague to celebrate the successes, the in-between moments and the things that didn’t go as planned. For kids & adults. Read more here. You tried, you missed, you’re invited: https://lu.ma/osty2498

P.S. Thinking of mothers all around the world today.